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Robert Benchly
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"The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him."
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Jean Cocteau
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"I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like."
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Robert Conklin
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"Unsuccessful people let the limitations of their environment affect their thinking. Successful people let their thinking affect the limitations of their environment."
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Rodney Dangerfield
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"The only normal people are the ones you don't know too well."
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John Dryden
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"Beware of the fury of the patient man."
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Sam Ewing
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"Smart people speak from experience - smarter people, from experience, don't speak."
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"One nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."
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"We used to call it "grouchy". Now it's an "attitude"."
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"Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done."
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"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happier?"
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"Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from."
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"When you get too big for your britches, your hat won't fit either."
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Paul Fix
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"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
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Donald R. Gannon
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"Where facts are few, experts are many."
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Sacha Guitry
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"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."
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Lucille S. Harper
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"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."
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Sydney J. Harris
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"A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past; he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future."
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"An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run."
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Jascha Heifetz
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"No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other."
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Kim Hubbard
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"A good listener is usually thinking about something else."
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Aldous Huxley
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"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."
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Lyndon B. Johnson
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"If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking."
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Timothy Leary
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"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."
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Arthur Miller
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"Everyone likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money."
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Alfred E. Neuman
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"Most people don't act stupid: it's the real thing."
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Ronald Reagan
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"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."
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Leo Rosten
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"He's the type who will cut your throat behind your back."
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Ken Saro-Wiwa
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"Physicists and astronomers see their own implications in the world being round, but to me it means that only one-third of the world is asleep at any given time and the other two-thirds is up to something."
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Homer Simpson
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"Weaseling out of things is what separates man from the animals -- well, except for the weasel."
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Adlai Stevenson
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"Some people approach every problem with an open mouth."
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Shirley Temple
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"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph."
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James Thurber
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"You can fool too many of the people too much of the time."
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Mark Twain
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"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
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Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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"Well-behaved women rarely make history."
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Jane Wagner
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"Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself."
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Charlotte Whitton
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"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
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Oscar Wilde
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"It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious."
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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
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"Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow."
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