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Mike Barfield
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"An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order."
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Bill Clinton
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"That depends on what your definition of 'is' is."
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Sam Ewing
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"A good answer is what you think of later."
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"Artist's model: attireless worker."
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"Artist's model: someone who makes a bare living."
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"A careful driver is one who sees the driver ahead get caught."
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W. C. Fields
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"Horse sense is the thing that a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
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Martin H. Fischer
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"A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking."
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Sigmund Freud
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"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
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Robert Frost
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"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."
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Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
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"Adults are obsolete children."
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The Hermit
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"SUV's: booster seats for adults."
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Elbert Hubbard
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"A pessimist is one who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist."
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Victor Hugo
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"There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come."
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Paul Johnson
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"The word "meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless."
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Erica Jong
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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
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Henry Morgan
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"A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself."
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Benjamin Stolberg
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"An expert is a person who avoids small errors as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy."
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Mark Twain
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"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
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