The Prince of Darkness

 

The fallibility of vintage Lucas electrical components is a perennial source of both consternation and humour for the nutty, sometimes erudite enthusiasts of British sports cars and motorcycles.


  • Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices.

  • The Prince's last words to his son: "don't go riding after dark"

  • The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

  • Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden, unexpected darkness"

  • Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

  • Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

  • The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.

  • The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

  • Lucas dip-switch positions: HIGH and BLOW

  • The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.

  • "I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...

  • If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

  • Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

  • In 1947 Lucas tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohms Law, but the effort failed because it met too much resistance.

  • To owner of a Land Rover: "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" Owner: "Doesn't matter - none of them work!"

  • During the 1970's, Lucas diversified its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product Lucas ever offered which didn't suck.

  • Lucas Quality Control often advised the engineering department that their designs had problems with shorting out. Engineering always made the wires a little longer.

  • Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas refrigerators.

  • Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, and Joseph Lucas invented the short circuit.

  • Lucas systems actually use AC current; it just has a random frequency.

  • How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.

  • Lucas won over Bosch to supply electrics for the new Volkswagens, so cars from the Black Forest have electrical systems from the Prince of Darkness.
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