The Prince of Darkness
The fallibility of vintage Lucas electrical components is a perennial
source of both consternation and humour for the nutty, sometimes
erudite enthusiasts of British sports cars and motorcycles.
- Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and
- The Prince's last words to his son:
"don't go riding after dark"
- The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
- Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still
claim "sudden, unexpected darkness"
- Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
- Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
- The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.
- The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and
- Lucas dip-switch positions: HIGH and BLOW
- The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.
- "I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never
experienced any prob...
- If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
- Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.
- In 1947 Lucas tried to get Parliament
to repeal Ohms Law, but the effort failed because
it met too much resistance.
- To owner of a Land Rover: "How can you tell one switch
from another at night, since they all look the same?" Owner:
"Doesn't matter - none of them work!"
- During the 1970's, Lucas diversified its product
line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the
only product Lucas ever offered which didn't suck.
- Lucas Quality Control often advised the engineering
department that their designs had problems with shorting out.
Engineering always made the wires a little longer.
- Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas refrigerators.
- Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone,
Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, and
Joseph Lucas invented the short circuit.
- Lucas systems actually use AC current; it just has a
- How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.
- Lucas won over Bosch to supply
electrics for the new Volkswagens, so cars from
the Black Forest have electrical systems from the
Prince of Darkness.
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